Q: I am a 24-year-old woman with two kids. Since I gave birth to my second child, it has been difficult for me to feel any sexual sensations. It feels like it is dead down there. My boyfriend feels all the pleasure, but I feel nothing at all. In addition, when we have sex I have to fake it. I have tried to arouse myself on my own, but nothing ever happens. Do you possibly have any suggestions that could help me out? This has been going on for a while and now I found the courage to ask someone about it.

A: Many women have to deal with this problem after giving birth to two, three or more children. The vagina changes after a child bearing.

That is why you have to regain the elasticity and suppleness of your vaginal muscles and the best way for this is to practice the Kegel exercises.

These exercises will be presented in details on our site , but until then I suggest that you practice some variants of the above mentioned exercises.

For this, see:
A game with eggs

Do you want to be a special woman? Train your vaginal muscles!

Strengthen your sexual muscles!

In addition, you should take some herbal aphrodisiacs such as sweet basil, ginseng, yohimbe, sweet sedge, Cola nut, nutmeg and so on.

Q: I enjoy anal sex; however recently I have been experiencing a very embarrassing response when engaging in same with my lover and that is, I have a bowel movement. Is there something I can do before engaging in anal sex to avoid this from happening?

A: You don’t have to worry about this. When we don’t eat properly this distension appears. In this case it is very uncomfortable to have anal sex.

So, you should choose very carefully your daily meal. Avoid meat and animal fats and also don’t combine incompatible foods.

Read the articles:
We are what we eat

Sublime food of the gods, Part 1

Sublime food of the gods, Part 2

Q: I am a 25-year-old lady, still unmarried. I do have a boyfriend who is also of my age. Although we don‘t have any physical relationships, we sometimes do phone sex - I mean we actually masturbate. When I reach climax during masturbation, he asks me to insert two fingers inside my vagina, but I’m not able to do it. So he feels depressed sometimes. Could you please help me out? Could you please tell me how can I do it? One more thing: he sometimes proposes to me to insert something of his penis shape inside my vagina, but I feel scared of doing it. Please tell me about this too: if I do this will it harm me or not? One last thing: his penis size is quite big, around 8 inches, as he used to say. I sometimes wonder whether a short lady like me will be able to take this inside my vagina or not.

A: Did I understand well? You are a virgin. You can’t insert your fingers inside your vagina because it is covered at the entrance with a membrane named hymen.

I suggest you read the article about woman’s genitalia from “women” section on our site to clarify your problem.

You should make love in the beginning with a man and after that you would be able to introduce any dildo (objects having the shape of the penis) inside your vagina.

You should read the article: The first time

For the beginning I recommend you to study your genitals using a mirror.
Even if you are a short lady, your vagina could be large. If you have other questions please let me know.

Q: I have heard that after having sex...a tube gets broken and that‘s when they say that a girl looses her virginity...I’d like to know if that tube is visible and if yes then where is it...

A: You should take a mirror and identify the parts of your external genitalia: major and minor labia clitoris, urethral opening and vaginal opening;

Clitoris is a little gland situated above the urethral opening; it is situated where the two minor labia unite.

When a woman makes love for the first time the membrane that covers the vagina (hymen) is broken (not a tube). Then she loses her virginity.

Q: When I use a yoni egg, how do I get it out and is there a possibility of not being able to get it back out? I would be too embarrassed to have to go to a doctor to have something removed....lol

A: There isn’t any possibility of not being able to get the egg back. All that you have to do in order to pull out the egg is to stand up and contract the urinary sphincters as if you want to urinate. The egg will be released from your vagina.

Q: Seven years have already passed since I am no longer a virgin. At the moment, I have a stable relationship with a man, with whom I‘ve been living for more than two years. My problem is that I don’t feel anything when my lover penetrates me in the vagina, but only when he penetrates my anus. Actually, only this excites me. Please, tell me what to do in order to experience the orgasm also when my vagina is penetrated. I must state that my lover is very gifted sexually and he really knows how to make love. But, in spite of the fact that he is very attractive, especially from the erotic point of view, I cannot reach the vaginal orgasm. Please tell me if there is a proper remedy to this or give me some solutions for me to improve my sexual life.

There are two solutions for re-erotising your vagina. One of them refers to training the vaginal muscles. In the articles of our magazine, we have presented the PC muscle exercises, known as Kegel exercises.
See our articles:

You have to contract rhythmically the pubococcigean muscle (approximately one contraction per second), as if you wanted to stop urinating. Start with a series of ten contractions, and then increase their number to twenty, thirty etc. You have to do at least ten series per day, each set having thirty contractions. Within a few weeks, you will notice a great change.

The second solution is to localize and to excite the G-spot (it is situated on the front side of the vagina).
See our article: Finding the G-spot

When we press this spot strongly enough, a very intense excitation appears. The G-spot has to be stimulated using the middle finger, and, with a little bit of consistence, you can reach the state of orgasm.

Once you are capable to reach the orgasm this way, you will be able to experience it with your lover, too. Good luck!

For more help to improve your tantric practice, please see our FAQ – Advice for Men page.