…THE THIRD DATE
In favor: Most women go for this option. Marry, 23 explains the reason: “on a third date, you should know what’s he about. If both of us want more than just an affair, then why not? If I feel he is not worth the effort, I do not make love to him either. I believe it is wiser this way.”
Indeed, it is less likely to get burnt. Let him be himself during these three dates, and try to know him for the person that he is. At least you’ll know the first name in the morning. His last name is optional…
Against: Making a rule of “lovemaking on third date” may turn you into an automatic pilot.
This happened to Miranda: “I realized that imposing this to myself was not enough. I felt secure with myself as long as I did not fall into his arms sooner.
I didn’t even get to know the man. I waited for the three dates to be over, and then I would sleep with them. After a while I realized that I had done it with men who did not mean something special to me. They were just benefactors of my golden rule.”
Now, Miranda believes she is mature enough to know if a man is worthy of her affections or not:
“I wait for the right moment, she says. It sometimes feels right after a few days, other times it may be even six months. But I discovered that this is the best way to deal with this issue.”
Patience, desire and the feeling that you are emotionally ready are the most important in dealing with a new erotic relationship. Much more important that the deadline from a diary.
…AFTER A MONTH
In favor:: A month of patient waiting may offer you unimaginable satisfaction. Teresa, 24, explains:
“After a month, you get a pretty good idea of whom you are dealing with. No man may pretend for so long. He will reveal his true nature and I’ll know whether he is worth it or not.”
After a month, your sentimental relationship is more defined, and you’ll also have the chance of seeing each other tired and in all those circumstances that make you become more familiar and comfortable with the other.
This gradual intimacy will help you feel more relaxed. Keep in mind the euphoria that comes afterward, because any man will value more a trophy that is harder to get. This is, if you consider his opinion as well.
Against: Can you really say about a man that he is your lover before making love to him? Not really. Do not expect more of him. In the same time, you meet every day and you feel so good together…Without even realizing, you begin to have more and more faith in him.
“I was dating Russel for about three weeks, says Candy, 28. we didn’t make love, but I was head over heels in love with him. I thought he was the one and I admired his patience.”
But things turned ugly when Candy found out that he was dating somebody else. Their mistake was the lack of communication. Russel felt nothing hindered him from making love to another woman, as long as Candy didn’t.
He thought of her more as a friend, rather than a girlfriend. If they had been more open to each other, Candy and Russel might have had a beautiful relationship.
Therefore, do not hesitate to tell your lover what you expect of him, as this will save you from useless suffering and disappointment.