Tantra Magazine

PART 5
In a couple in which both lovers practice sexual continence , the amorous relation becomes deeper and more complex so that some persons will know their lover better than their own being.

If it is more difficult for you to meditate on yourself. A couple facilitates this process as the beloved one awakens in you complex feelings, states, sensitivities, thanks to her/his COMPLEMENTARY ENERGIES.

The one who tends to dominate or posses her/his beloved who cannot assert herself/himself or who is afraid of taking responsibility, will always manifest these problems, amplified through unfavorable resonance within the couple.

The main patterns that characterize a disharmonious couple are: the dominating (man) father and the shy, weak (woman) mother; the protective and very jealous woman and the unfaithful or inconstant man; the mother-woman and the forever-adolescent man, etc.

Unless the two lovers deeply and detachedly analize their amorous behavior patterns, they cannot become aware of their major faults and they will go on living in the illusion that they are a perfect couple lacking any problem.

One day they might suddenly face an apparently strange breaking off or, in other cases, they will have the tendency to blame only the other one for a possible erotic or marriage failure.

A profound love relationship is always lived in two and that is why the responsibility of the complete harmony and happiness belongs to both of them.

WHAT DOES MY COUPLE SAY ABOUT MYSELF?
If we usually impose our opinion, if we dont let our lover express herself/himself, if we dont allow the other one to have a different point of view, we must urgently learn to show an affectionate respect to her/him, to EMPATHYSE with her/him to understand her/him in order to learn as much as possible from what is beneficialial within her/him; consequently we must let her/him be herself/himself especially in what love is concerned, and express herself/himself freely and fully.

Thus, we will let the beloved one choose her/his own life. We can transform her/him through the power of the personal example.

The only condition is that our inner force should be greater on that precise level as it is well known that if you want to transform the others you should first transform yourself.

On the contrary, if we are undecided, fragile, lacking initiative, if we want the other ones decide on our options and responsibilities, we must do something and amplify our spirit to take initiative, before making our couple become a child-parent type of relationship.

In case we get into such a relationship, we will sooner or later blame the beloved one for dominating us but, if we are sincere, we can realize that it is us who caused this situation.

Tantra Magazine
As yogis , we should know that the best amorous relationship is the one in which the MAN is seen as SHIVA and the WOMAN as SHAKTI .

In such a relationship, (of SHIVA SHAKTI type) each of the lovers learn to venerate the beloved one for the sublime aspects that she/he has (and which objectively exist inside her/him). They affectionately advice each other with love, care and wisdom in order to overcome the couple’s problems.

There are many other behavior patterns that most of the couples have to (sometimes unconsciously) face. In order to discover the behavior pattern of our couple, both of us must analyze the way in which our couple works.

One of the best ways in which we can get detached from our couple and from the conflicts that might appear is to lucidly become aware of the bad feelings and meditating on the causes of these conflicts.


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