The essence of the Tantric path begins with transfiguration. In other words, you are truly on this path only when your perception of someone else is changed for the better through transfiguration.
For instance, if a so-called yogi makes love to a woman, he respects Brahmacharya, he transmutes the sexual energy and sublimates it, but he is not capable of seeing his lover as more than a regular woman, then he does not really practice Tantra in the truest sense of the word.
Only when he is capable of seeing in the woman he makes love to, the cosmic ocean of primordial energy, when this is not just his imagination, but a reality he is experiencing, only when he feels all the powers of the universe manifested through her, can he truly say he is on the Tantric path.
However, this does not mean that this is where it ends. This beginning also has a sequel, and on the peaks of this Tantric system there are very high level meditations on the essential aspects of the Divine.
Consequently, transfiguration is a very important aspect, and its absence leads to a very strange thing, which some people may have noticed.
Although they sincerely follow a yogic path, although they honestly try to practice Tantra, they have various obstacles that hinder them from reaching the truly divine states they should experience if their practice was correct.
For instance, they have to deal with stupid, limiting states brought on by possessiveness.
And this occurs because they forget the goal of the Tantric path, this is a path that is supposed to set one free, not bind them with more chains.
Of course, being free in a relationship does not mean being indifferent to the other persons actions, or feelings, it simply means not becoming dependent on the other.
You can have a very fine and fulfilling relationship with someone, you can offer them all your love and devotion, without adding the chains of indifference or dependence.
This may seem like a paradox to some people, but this path of freedom has the effect of binding some people, only because they are not aware of the fact that their practice is incorrect.
SUBTLE COMMUNICATION HELPS US EASILY BEAR PHYSICAL SEPARATION
In other words, as Rajneeshs used to say – the steps are love, lovemaking and prayer. So what really happens during these steps?
A person seeks unity, seeks to escape his or her own limitations, but on this path, transcendence is only possible with the help of another person, with the help of your beloved.
In the beginning, the attraction and desire are the signs of coming out from the boundaries of ones limitations. Why? Because one cannot truly get out of oneself, physically.
The escape, experienced in the sexual union is nonetheless short-lived. Therefore, only when one reaches his or her lovers soul, when a spiritual communion takes place, only then does the escape through the soul occur, a soul that perceives another soul.
This signals the moment of the first de-conditioning, because this is when you can become independent from your lovers body.
Why? Because at this time you are already in contact with your lovers soul and you can now stand physical separation.
Two people who love each other sexually will not be able to stand physical separation, because they did not manage to get out of their bodies and the physical separation leaves them feeling alone and empty.
However, if the two lovers have surpassed this level and have reached the level of spiritual love, they can stay separated for long periods of time, because they will still be spiritually united.