Tantra Magazine

PART 2
R: Did you make this last part up or did it really happen?

D.O.: No, this is exactly how it happened… and of course, she was not a monster having with a red tongue…

The boys fear and the story he had told me were meant to prevent me from contacting her. The great Kashmir masters create such tests for those willing to follow their knowledge. This was the first test.

R: In this case, was the master a woman?

D.O.: Yes and I was not surprised. I red that in the Tantric philosophy there are many women-masters.

R.: How was she?

D.O.: She was forty years old and had much inner strength, freedom, but also kindness and compassion. She used to live near a village for some months and then to continue her journey, staying near another settlement for some time and so on.

She allowed me to build a cottage at 50 meters distance from her own. Thus my initiation started. I realized from the beginning that the knowledge I received was extremely practical and that it was against all preconceived ideas. Lalita Devi (that was her name) did not ask me to follow any principle.

R.: Which were the first steps?

D.O.: A deep destruction of all that was not spontaneous in my behavior. It was very difficult in the beginning, because I used to identify myself with all that was mechanical within me!

I was wondering what would be left from me in the end. I discovered that I was a being that did not know how to be natural anymore and invented an artificial mask for all the situations life put me through.

Lalita Devi was completely unpredictable. She would wake me up at midnight, at sunrise or she let me sleep; I never knew what to expect from her.

Tantra Magazine
Sometimes she explained the principles of the Kashmir Shaivism, sometimes we just practiced yoga exercises. She herself had changing moods, but they were perfectly controlled. I had the feeling that my artificial personality was annihilated.

I felt I couldnt get rid of this transformation process. It lasted for three months. Sometimes I wanted to give up, to leave, but each time I was sure that I would never have this chance again. She was like a permanent radiography of my soul.

R.: In Tantra the initiation is of a sexual nature, too.

D.O.: Yes and in the beginning I wished for something like this. But, despite Western fantasies, it is an ultimate stage and one should practice a lot in order to be able to completely control it.

The sexual initiation takes place when do you not expect it anymore and when you would go on learning even if you dont receive it, when you get detached of this last wish, too.

In fact, it is a means of checking your authenticity. When you understand that the ego is nothing but an illusion, how could you fall in love with an illusion? What you discover beyond is absolute love, a much more intense one that expands through the whole universe.


PART 1   |   PART 2   |   PART 3   |   PART 4