Tantra Magazine

PART 2
It is not surprising that the great American sexologists Kinsey, Hunt and Hite have discovered that almost half of American women never or very rarely reach orgasm during intercourse. However, many women reach an orgasm if their lover stimulates their clitoris.

Some women and even some men may complain that the use of hands to stimulate a woman’s clitoris during intercourse is unnatural or excessively mechanical.

A man who practices sexual continence remembers:
“I have sometimes considered that it is a sign of weakness for a man to use his fingers. But I have discovered that there are moments when a woman really enjoys, sometimes even prefers, my fingers and my tongue because the sensations are completely different.”

This type of stimulation cannot be considered unnatural or a sign of weakness as long as 3/4 of women need this stimulation in order to be satisfied.

Men who do not use their hands during intercourse may find out that they need a very long time to coordinate their movements and penetrations.

This coordination becomes easier and easier with practice, especially if you slow down the penetrations and you allow your beloved (and yourself) to enjoy each penetration and each caress.

You must be attentive not to become excessively focused on your lover’s clitoris and to lose contact with what is happening during intercourse. Also, be attentive not to lose control on what you are doing with your hands so that your beloved does not feel you are doing it mechanically.

It is even better if your lover wants you to caress herself. Her wish should not make you feel that you are not able to satisfy her. This kind of feeling that a man might have derives from his idea that it is his responsibility (and his right) to “give” her an orgasm.

This mental programming is why many women fake an orgasm in order to satisfy their lover or to prove that they have been satisfied.

In fact, you cannot “give” your lover an orgasm. She must experience it in her mind and body.
As more and more women have discovered their ability to reach orgasm once or more times, men have felt an increased pleasure to satisfy this bigger and bigger orgasmic potential.

Men’s wish to satisfy women is noble and necessary but the stress that accompanies it is neither noble or necessary and can cause performance anxiety.

You will approach everything more realistically and you will be less stressed if you are aware of the fact that you are only there to help your lover reach her own orgasm.

THE ORGASMIC MARK
The clitoris, vaginal and mixed orgasms are only three types of orgasm that sexologists usually describe as being female genital orgasms.

Sexologists consider that there are short, discreet orgasms and long, continuous ones. Some women have discreet orgasms, some have continuous ones and others have a combination of these two types.

In fact, the orgasmic characteristic of each woman is so particular that it should be called the “orgasmic mark”.

It is known that physical constitution, personal expectations, cultural influences and the sexual education influence the way in which your beloved (and yourself) live an orgasm and this is one of the reasons why people are inclined towards the standard orgasmic pattern.

Some women have strong orgasms, some quieter ones and others continuous ones. The multi-orgasmic women may have any of the aforementioned combinations. It is important to remember that your lover’s orgasm can be different every time.


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