The most important thing, before learning how to cultivate your sexual energy through self-stimulation is to realize the necessity of cultivating your love.
The sacred vision of sexuality is essential in every sexual practice. Therefore, in the absence of love, this feeling of sacred disappears. Approaching a sexual issue in a tantric manner means using sexual energy to amplify your love.
Consequently, love is the foundation of each sexual tantric practice and it is love that grows in intensity and becomes more refined.
Thus, through the tantric practice, one may get to experience the pure, archetypal love of Shiva and Shakti, or in other words the union of the masculine and feminine principles, a love that is also the foundation of creation.
MAKE YOUR LOVE GROW
Many men practice self-stimulation, but very few use this opportunity to make their love grow. This is an easy task if you realize that inside each man there is also a feminine aspect, just as inside each woman there is a masculine aspect.
This is obvious on a physical level due to the fact that women and men have both male and female hormones. Likewise, on a psychological level, any man has a female part inside of him, and every woman has a masculine side.
The degree of awareness and manifestation of this complementary aspect differs from person to person. Nonetheless, each of us may develop it through awareness.
This aspect is relevant for the issue we discuss in the sense that while masturbating, you may think that you are actually making love to your feminine counterpart.
This feminine counterpart bears the name, according to K.G. Jung, of ANIMA, while the male counterpart present in each woman is named ANIMUS.
A perfect lover also loves himself in a healthy way, not because of narcissism or other psychological disturbances.
The cultivation of sexual energy mainly refers to its growth in quantity and intensity. This is an important aspect, because sexual energy is the energetic base of any experience we may have, be it of an affectionate, mental or spiritual nature.
Consequently, a great quantity of sexual energy is a powerful current source for our physical states, both positive and negative. This is the reason for which it is highly important that you always keep a happy, optimistic inner attitude, regarding your feelings and thoughts.
Sexual energy intensifies love, if love is what you feel. If what you feel is hatred, your hate will be even more intense and powerful.
An essential aspect is understanding the manner in which the sexual energy “nourishes” your emotions, both in your individual practice as well as in a couple.
Growing your sexual energy in the previously discussed manner and associating it with the energy of love will also help you avoid ejaculation. The direct consequence is obvious, as you know from your own experience that it is a lot more difficult to be in control when you feel anxious or angry.
The tantric tradition includes an exercise that implies the visualization of an energetic channel connecting the genial area to the heart area, during lovemaking. Thus, the sexual energy will be sublimated at the level of Anahata chakra, “nourishing” the love you will experience then.
Here is another experience of a man practicing sexual continence:
“Before I began my practice with sexual continence, I used to wish that I could separate sex from emotions. Nonetheless, since I started this practice, I have discovered that my sexual organs are much more connected to my heart. I discovered that I have a deep and real feeling of love for my beloved and even for other people as well.”