T H E S E   K I D S   A R E   S U C H    A    B U R D E N !

The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be had a discussion with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."

The mother took a deep breath and began, "Dear, when two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."

"I know how to make love, mother," the bride-to-be interrupted. "I want you to know how to make your great lasagna."





A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But, there is something that is perhaps more dangerous than anything else." The dietician peered into the crowd and asked, "Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to?"

A handful of people in the audience raised their hands with possible answers.

"Yes, you, sir, in the first row," said the dietician. "Please give us your idea."

The man grinned and blurted, "Wedding cake!"





A couple who'd been married for over 50 years was sitting on the sofa, when the wife said, "Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?"

He moved over and sat close to her.

"Dear," she continued, "do you remember how you used to hold me tight?"

He reached over and held her tight.

"And," she went on, "do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear?"

With that, her husband got up and started to walk out of the room.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Well," answered the husband, "I have to get my teeth"