THE CONFLICTS BETWEEN LOVERS CAN BE A SOURCE OF TRANSFORMING IN BETTER A COUPLE
It is true that marriage cannot have a transforming influence unless we encounter conflicts and pain as crucial moments force us face our attachments, flaws, prejudices, inhibitions, which lie deep down inside us and which do not come out without fight.
When the intensity of the marriage conflict is diminished, as a consequence of our effort to make our marriage a part of our spiritual practice or even a path of spiritual evolution, new energies will be generated which will elevate our conscience and will keep the two lovers together.
A couples wish to make efforts together in order to elevate their inner nature creates for both of them a special, sacred context that makes the relationship more profound.
These conflicts shape them and they can easily learn things that would be practically inaccessible for each of them alone.
Thus, the conflicts solved in such a way that elevate the two lovers, receive also a sacred character, as they are the consequence of the alchemical change between them.
The tantric tradition asserts that when a man and a woman consecrate their relation to the development and elevation of their consciousness, the emotional vicissitudes, hatred, pride and jealousy are the ornaments of the Dakini energy, which is a symbol of the force of these intense feelings that confers us positive, elevated states through conscious effort.
If both of them consider their conflicts chances to grow, they will discover a propulsive factor in this apparent chaos.
THE MARRIAGE OATH DRAWS A SACRED SPACE
Whenever two complementary aspects of life unite conscience and shape, discipline and passion, masculine and feminine, sky and earth new opportunities spring up.
Two persons who unite through marriage undertake, even without knowing it, a sacred activity. Thus, at that moment, they create a miniature Cosmos that includes different parts, personal and transpersonal ones, (a whole is more than the simple sum of the parts), each with its own specificity.
Before marriage, the union in a couple is not clear, as the boundaries are not well established. The marriage oath creates a strong formal boundary and the relation generates a sacred space in which the elements of life interact and express themselves.
The sacred traditions mention a specific way of symbolic representation mandala in order to properly describe this kind of Microcosm . Mandala-s can be found in many cultures and epochs.
Usually, they are combinations of circles, squares and triangles, symmetrically placed from two perpendicular axes or around a center.
These symbols of some sacred spaces, on which some meditate until they reach a perfect subtle identification, are a characteristic both of the Hindi and Buddhist sacred rituals and of the Paleolithic representations, of the pueblo Indians sand drawings of the Medieval images.
C.G. Jung noticed that such images similar to mandalas appeared in his patients dreams after they had developed their ability to fully love and live life.
Mandala symbolizes the conquest of the dualist spirit through the union of the complementary polarities around a unifying center.
Mandala is a Cosmos, that is, specifically ordered, sacred space, vast enough to contain and to face the chaos. A great Tibetan initiate, Chogyam Trungpa spoke about the apparent deep and mysterious chaos ordered by the divine harmony according to some laws which are not understood by the human beings.