Negative feelings about your physical and psychological self are indeed coming to reality, either in the sense of blocking you in your attempts to love somebody or ensuring that a new relationship grows full of discord, being bound to fail.
The remedy in this case is to follow a psychological program that will eliminate the negative thoughts and replaces them with positive ones.
The important aspect with this type of exercises is that not only they will you get to feel good about yourselves, but in feeling so you encourage others to feel the same about you, opening new possibilities for a relationship to grow and blossom.
Usually, a low self-image is the result of negative messages received from parents, friends, relatives, etc., in our formative years, when we were most receptive and vulnerable. Therefore, the way to develop a positive image about ourselves is to counteract these negative feelings. As always, the first step in counteracting a negative pattern is identifying it.
Write them down on one side of a piece of paper. For example: “I am not attractive”, “I am not sexually attractive”, or “my relationships don’t last”.
Next step is to write down on the opposite side of the piece of paper positive statements that counteract the negative thought patterns you wish to eliminate. For example: “I am attractive” “I am sexually attractive”, or “my relationships last”.
Repeat these positive statements several times when you wake up, before getting out of bed, and at night, before getting asleep. You will soon see that these positive statements will change the negative patterns of your subconscious mind.
Another method is visualization. In the following section of our article, you will learn also some visualization techniques.
Most often, people who have had painful experiences with relationships, or a deep psychological trauma, or even a broken family background feel disillusioned with themselves and lacking self-confidence. Such people have to try and reach deep down inside their subconscious to undo the damage.
One way to do this is to sit comfortably in front of a large mirror, relax, use the breathing and meditation techniques, having your eyes closed. Once you feel at peace, both physically and mentally, go back in your mind to the time when you truly loved a person, recalling every detail of the situation.
Try to remember even the place where you were, who were you with, the surroundings, and then focus your attention a little more on the things that happened to make you feel this way. Try to remember the feelings of love you were surrounded at that time and fill your whole being with them.
Now, open your eyes and look at your image in the mirror, projecting these feelings of intense love, tenderness, warmth and sheer joy upon yourself. Think about your physical or non-physical traits that you consider worthy of appreciation: your beautiful eyes, your round and appealing curves, your shiny hair, or perhaps your intelligence, loyalty, affectionate nature.
Once you began to see yourself in this new and affirming light, think about those aspects of your personality that you wish to improve.
Think only in positive terms, such as: I would like to be more optimistic, or I would like to be more energetic, and then close your eyes, imagining a concrete situation in which you plainly prove yourself having amounts of the desired quality.
Repeat this exercise every day, because although the results may not be spectacular, in the long run they have the effect you need, eliminating the negative patterns and replacing them with positive, beneficialial ones.
An important aspect that we mentioned before, but that needs to be underlined is that once you get confidence in yourself and begin to think highly of you, others will see you in the same positive light.