Tantra Magazine

I. Rath-Vegh was looking for equivalents for the English “flirting” in a famous book. Courtship, madness, making-out, frivolous love, coquetry? Seems like it has a little bit of everything.

The English verb ‘to flirt’ means “to move something fast up and down, back and forth.” One of the most spiritual English writers of the 18th Century, Count Chesterfield, describes how he was there when the new meaning was born.

The lady who first used the current meaning was Lady Frances Shirley. “I was there when this very important word appeared on her most charming lips.” The lovely Frances was opening and then closing her fan and was hiding her face behind it, showing only her eyes.

When her lover reproached her seductive provocation to her jokingly she said innocently that it was a simple flirtation, a simple wave of her fan.

So the new meaning was born and women all over the world have tried hard to enrich its meaning, which becomes richer and richer and more complex, so much so, that nowadays it is used in many different ways.

It is not ironic to note that flirting, as yet, has no scientific explanation. A lot of scientists have tried to define it but could not. Without denying its existence, an explanation must be found .

Iwan Bloch defines it in opposition to coquetry. Coquetry regards only senses and does not take the spiritual relation between a man and a woman into account. Flirting on the other hand is the spiritualized relative of coquetry; women especially use spiritual weapons
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According to Swiss man Forel the coquette woman first of all wants to be liked and then wants to conquer. Flirting helps arouse love. The author enumerates these means in details and states the fact that flirting depends on vision and touch.

Most important of all is the language of the eyes because eyes tell many of secrets and can reveal many wonders. Touching means shaking hands, being close and relates to apparent or accidental touching. Where people are crowded together you can feel the language of knees and feet. Words become useless for the couple.

American H.T. Finck also states the difference between flirting and coquetting. Coquetry is the need to be liked. The woman wants to conquer and there is no other aim but to enjoy it. Just like the skinflint who doesn’t do anything with his money but puts them aside in a pile for his own sake.

Flirting is very innocent game. There is a saying “innocent flirting but cruel coquetry”. In order to enhance more the characteristics of ‘flirting’ the author reminds us of some types of women: arrogant, inflexible, hypocrite

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These kinds of women answer to a mans question with a ‘no’ even if they think ‘yes’; whilst the coquette woman accepts even if she doesn’t want to. What about the flirt? She smiles and all she says is ‘maybe’…

In the end our wise man concludes with a short definition of flirting “flirting is an art where a woman puts a spell on a man and captivates him and yet he has no idea if she loves him or not.”